12. Sexuality

12 Sexuality

12.1 What to Know

How many times have you heard men say the word “sexuality” or use it to refer to men? Do you know the difference between“sex” and “sexuality?” Do you know the concept of “sexual self-worth?”

The sad fact is many men don’t know the difference between sex and sexuality. These men also don’t know the concept of sexual self-worth. Further, many men focus on the act of sex as the only aspect of their sexual nature. This focus leads them away from the notion that they, like women, are sexual human beings who must care for their sexual nature.

Sexuality has to do with being a sexual human being—things like how you look and smell, and your body image. The act of sex is only one aspect of your sexual nature.

To get in touch with your sexuality, there are key aspects of your sexual nature that you must learn. These aspects include:

Body image

The view you have of your body.

Touch

Your ability to give and receive intimate touch.

Physical sexual response

Your ability to give and receive sexual touch and enjoy it.

Intimacy

The feeling of closeness you share in emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and sexual communication.

You can explore the latter aspect—intimacy—in more detail in the Intimacy topic.

Developing a healthy sense of your sexuality is key to:

Healthy sexual relations between you and your wife/partner.
Raising children who grasp their nature as sexual human beings.

It will also help you:

Protect and not harm another’s sexual nature, such as through unwanted touch or rape.
Protect your own sexual nature from harm by others.

It’s vital that you have good sexual self-worth, which means you have good overall thoughts and feelings about your nature as a sexual human being. Your sexual self-worth is closely tied to your feelings about Being a Man and Dad and Your Health, two other topics in Fathering in 15™.

12.2 What Else

Some other key aspects of your sexual nature that you must learn are:

Responsibility.

Your level of responsibility in having sex. People with a low level tend not care about unplanned pregnancies or about spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like HIV. These people tend to have low sexual self-worth. People with a high level try to prevent those things and tend to have high sexual self-worth.

Health Status.

How healthy you are to have sex.

Respect.

How much you respect your wife/partner's desire for sex and for certain things during sex.

Trust.

How much trust you have in your wife/partner when you share physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy.

12.3 What to Ask

Grab a paper and pen to write down your answers if you wish. Take your time.

How healthy is my sexual self-worth? How can I make it healthier?
How is my body image? How can I have a better image of my body?
Aside from the act of sex, how can I express my sexuality with my wife/partner?
How often do my wife/partner and me give each other intimate touch, such as cuddling and massages, without having sex? How can I give this kind of touch more often?
How often do my wife/partner and me have emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually intimate talks? How can we have these kinds of talk more often?
How do I protect the sexual nature of others? How do I protect my own sexual nature?

12.4 Get Inspired

Watch these brief videos.

12.5 Learn More

Men don’t often think about their own sexual health—how they can improve and protect it.

For the latest tips and guidance on your sexual health, visit WebMD^®. You can learn how to improve your sexual health, about treatment options if you have a sexual health problem, and more. Just enter “male sexual health” into the search bar.